Day 14: Epiphany

For the past few months, I've jokingly said I wasn't celebrating my birthday this year (I'm dreading 30, and it just got closer today). Today, I find myself alone. Just me and my dog, Boogie. Earlier I was feeling lonely and depressed that this is the first birthday I have spent alone. No friends or family present. That's when I realized, I got exactly what I asked for. Turns out, I didn't want it this way. I am a silly girl who just realized not only did I bring this upon myself, but that I have also been pushing people away from me. Fearing that they will get too close to see my scars of my past. My past is far from the definition of pretty and truthfully I am ashamed of my past. I am also ashamed of my behavior to those around me these past few months. I do love my friends and family, they are my world, yet I've not only been hurting myself, but everyone else by pushing them away. My apologies to you all.

Once I had my epiphany of the year, I went to Winn-Dixie to get some ingredients and snacks for Bible study tomorrow and a women's brunch on Saturday. I also purchased my own birthday cupcake. It was a devil's food sundae cupcake and it was HUGE!! 

After I silently wished myself a "happy birthday', I devoured that joker!!

Day 13: Super Woman

Its been over a month since I last blogged. Since beginning of July, I have encounter death, sorrow, grief, happiness, love, compassion, headaches, annoyances, frustrations,etc. and etc. I have become Super Woman. There's just so much I could talk about, but still have soo much to do, I'll keep it brief.

My cousin passed away July 13th and was put to rest on July 18th. Despite the circumstances, I was able to go to my hometown and be there for my loved ones and visit family. This was my first visit back home since I moved to Central Florida a year ago.  **Yesterday was my one year anniversary being back in Florida!!** I was able to stay a week, then promptly returned to my home.

Upon arrival, a couple I am dear friends with, asked for a helping hand. Roy has kidney failure, severe diabetes and his big toe is to be amputated. His mom, Pam, her cancer has returned after 15 years and she's in stage 4b of Lung Cancer, both lungs. For the past 3 weeks, she's being getting radiation treatments at Moffits, cancer center in Tampa, daily. She'll start her chemo treatments this week for weekly treatments and is now finished with radiation. Roy's fiance, Jocelyn, was promoted at work, and had 2 people quit shortly after her promotion and has been working every day. Roy's grandparents are neighbors of theirs and their health isn't that great either. Jocelyn has two kids, Joey 9 (ADHD) and Nevaeh 6, who has started school this past week. I temporarily moved in with them from June 24th until today (got home about 11am). I did all I could do to help with the kids and around the house. I'm not working at the moment, so I couldn't help with money, but I did help with food (thank you Lord for food stamps, I have no shame, I gotta eat some how). Cooked, cleaned, care for the kids every day. Wish I could have done soo much more, I would have done it all. Since I've been back in Florida, they've become my family here. I really don't know where I would be today, if it weren't for their friendship. I love them all very much, though we may bump heads at times (what family doesn't!), I would give my shirt off my back, if it would help them get through.

Boogie and I are now home :) I've missed my bed!! Boogie, is no longer a puppy :( Roy and Jocelyn's Chiweenie, had her first heat and Boogie is her boyfriend. They're so cute! They play really well with each other. Saturday morning about 7 am, I am awoken by a shrill yelping sound...it's Wendy and her and Boogie are stuck! I am mortified! I had to wake Jocelyn up to help me calm them down quickly to detach them. HA! so much for sleeping in on a Saturday morning after getting the kiddos up and at 'em at 6:30am every morning! So yea, he's no longer my lil Boogie baby...he's now my Boogie man....literally!

Day 12: Boogie Fever!!

It's been a few since I blogged last, so let me catch you up to speed...

Work has been a little slack, which is understandable do to last week's holiday and it being summer. Many people are on vacations and spending their money that way.

Last Tuesday, I came home with a Boogie (5 month old Chihuahua).  My friend Roceyln, mostly Jocelyn, and her sister, decided to get a replacement dog for their mom, whose Ladybug passed away a few weeks prior. They did this all without consulting their mother first; it was a surprise. Well Roy, was too excited about Boogie and how cute he is, that he sent the mother a pic text. She begged and pleaded for them not to bring that dog there! Jocelyn's sister lives with the mom. She was hoping to change her mind by 'convincing' her that her own dog passed away last year and that Boogie would be great for her and her daughter. Roceyln couldn't keep him, so I offered to be his foster parent. The mother still says no...

So now I'm no longer his foster parent, I am his parent. This is my Boogie :)

He mostly sleeps all day...

not just sleep, but curled up to me...

and his my new alarm clock for in the mornings :)

He really is soo cute and sweet...and STUBBORN! I'll have to start blogging more of the things he does and the laughs he gives me! Truly is a blessing from God! I've been feeling a bit lonely for the past few months and now I have no reason to be lonely :)

Just realized that today is the 4 month mark of my quitting cigarettes! That's 120 days people!! WOOT WOOT!!

Day 11: Knitting fool

Well, I've gotten the proper knitting needles now and found a pattern I fell in love with instantly. Instead of making something simple like a hat or scarf, I am making a Ribbed Lace Bolero. I've been working on this project for about 3 weeks now. I found the pattern at here. This is what the finished project is to look like: 

I have re-started this project 8 times I believe. Until I finally understood the whole turning your work idea. I was thinking when the work ends up on the right needle you would continue with the left needle. WRONG! You simply take the work and turn it to be in your left hand and work with your right hand. So after I realized this I got the ribbed portion underway. Looks great too: 

Then I got to the lace portion. Luckily after 3 attempts at it without assistance, I found this video tutorial here.

The pattern says to switch to a size 10.5 needle after the first row of lace, but I've stayed with a size 8 intentionally and this is what my lace is looking like: 

Now on day 3 of this project this is what I have so far :)

Day 10: What did you do today?

Over sleeping my 8:30am target time, I arrived at Joanne's house at 9:30am, turned my cell into an mp3 player and began cleaning until 12:45pm. Headed to the gas station near my house because their gas was $3.36 this morning when I past it. If I hadn't overslept, I would have stopped for gas and coffee and possibly a muffin. About a mile away from the store, I ran out of gas.

The highs today were in the mid 90s. I drive a 94 Chevy Corsica (aka Betsy) with no air conditioning. First called my landlord (neighbor as well), husband is out in about and gas can is in his trunk. Dialed Mama Bev  and no answer. Proceeded to calling her son Matthew (aka Lil Brother) to hear that his brother Josh has the car. Called my friends whom I've nicknamed Rocelyn (Jocelyn and Roy), for them to go ahead and bring their kids, Nevaeh and Joey, and possibly a gas can. May have been begging at this point. After hanging up, I realized I wasn't far from my church's youth pastor's house, yet he was in Orlando, but suggested calling our mutual friend Laci. DING! DING! DING! Laci not only lived a few minutes away from where Betsy and I were stranded but also had a gas can with gas already in it. Destiny? Called Rocelyn back and cancelled the gas and arranged to meet at McDonald's.

Laci arrives about 15 minutes later. We weren't sure if the gas was good so went to 'The Gas Station' (let it be for ever known as such). Found out there the gas was still good, U-turned it back to Betsy and gave her a little sip. She followed me to The Gas Station just in case (due to my car being as old as she is, people tend to think she's gonna kill over any day, but her and I both know she's a trooper). Besty showed that one mile 'whose the boss' (really miss my Danza now) and gave her some more juice. Proceeded home, longing for a shower, but thanks to the great invention of baby wipes, I wiped the sweat away giving myself a fresh baby scent. Changed clothes, grabbed some snacks, drinks, and dinner and back out into the dreaded heat once more. Met up with Rocelyn to get kids.

 The play date I had scheduled was lagging behind, so Nea Nea, Jo Jo and myself trudged towards the park. Luckily, there were a few HUGE oaks at the park that provided a really nice shade and a nice cooling breeze showed up after I settled down watching the kids run and play. Little over an hour had passed when I got the bright idea of returning back to McDonald's for ice cream cones. As I placed the order, Brenda text me to head to her house for the play date. Not even out of the parking lot of McD's, and the ice creams are melting before the kids can slurp them up. Joey was sitting shot gun with it dripping over his hand and onto his lap. Luckily, he had his swim trucks in his lap. Nea Nea is too busy talking rather than eating her cone; thankfully she was sitting behind so that I couldn't witness her mess. Arriving at Brenda's, it looks like Joey stuck his entire hand into Elmer's glue and Nea Nea is wearing it all over her face and still has little over half a cone to eat.

 Brenda, Mica and their daughter Emily arrive moments later. We had the kids change into swim suits for some fun with a sprinkler. Due to the yard flooding with now mud instead of water, this lasted about 15 minutes. Back inside--kids in one room, adults in the other. "I'm hungry." Hot dogs it is. After feeding the kids, a movie is put on for them, leaving the adults alone. Then it happened. Words exchanged--misunderstanding--tears--hugs--laughter. BOOM!! Now we're under a T-storm warning. Rocelyn phones asking for another hour and half until they get kids back. While watching some Netflix : tattle-telling, time out, tattle-telling, time out. Time to say good-byes. Still a little rain, but slippery out. Load up Betsy and head to meet up with Rocelyn. Help the kids out, getting drenched--my shower I longed for earlier? Arrived home little after 10.

From the moment my feet hit the floor to me typing away at this blog at this very moment, I have gave thanks and praises to my Father all day. I had a wonderful day today! I wouldn't change any of it for anything. My Lord was with me through it all. Thank you again Lord for one of the best days of my life! 

Day 9: Praying poo

I are sick :( Since Friday, I've been fighting the runny nose and sniffles and a small fever yesterday. Today I have a cough but no sore throat. I feel like poo. My eyes are heavy and I slept the entire morning away. Antihistamine isn't my best friend. My nose's faucet doesn't want to turn off.

On a different note, my friend and I were finally able to talk through the misunderstandings of her grandparents. After almost 6 years of friendship, she felt like she couldn't talk to me about the matter. I know her stresses and worries. I have been there with many family members of my own. It's hard to see someone you love and care about suffer and all you want to do is 'kiss it better', yet sometimes the only thing we can do is simply sit back and watch and pray. Though after 6 years of friendship, this is our first quarrel. I think that says a lot all in itself.

She's more than my best friend, I call her my Lil Sis. I've watched her grow up since she was 14. I am 6 years older than her. I love her very much and I tend to act like a big sister to her. I am very protective of her. This is why it hurt me so much in the past 3 days of not speaking to each other. I had tried to reach out to her, but I was ignored. So instead of trying to take things into my own hands, I prayed. I prayed He would give me my Lil Sis back. Last night, I guess you could say, we kissed and made up...though it was through IM. Wish we could have made up in person, we both agreed we both needed a good hug.

Prayer is a powerful thing. You ask and it shall be received. Not on our time, but His! 

Day 8: How much a week can hold?

So it's been a week since I've blogged. This week has been...really cannot find the word(s) to describe it or even sum it up. I'll break it down briefly. It was VBS week at church. I was the snack lady. Preparing snacks for 70 plus kids, is well, a bit exhausting, but enjoyed every minute of it. A very dear friend of mine, introduced me to her grandparents the same day (Monday) her grandfather returned home from the hospital after having a tracheotomy. Long story short, I took the initiative to stay with them to help out with the care of him as well as around the house. Though never directly talking to their children about it other then a little here and there, there was never a direct understanding of what was expected of myself. I willingly accepted being thrown into a lion's den. Leaving out details, last night there was a small, yet upsetting conflict between the grandmother and myself. This conflict, has also brought on uneasiness between my friend and myself. I've prayed and have asked others to pray as well, for my continued strength emotionally, physical endurance, and compassionate patience for this. I know God brought me to them for a reason. I know this is the devil's way of keeping me from doing my job, the job that God hand-picked myself for.

That pretty much sums up the past 7 days for myself. Sorry to exclude some of the details. Some things are best left unsaid.