Day 6: Struggles

I've been struggling, not including financially for we all are in today's time. I've been struggling with my growth in my relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ. I know there is no such thing as a perfect Christian, but I want to be perfect in His eyes. I know He has forgiven me of my past and I'm learning to forgive myself as well. I do love everyone as He does too, even the ones I've called my enemy in the past. Some days I dive into the Word, eagerly seeking knowledge that He wishes for me to know, as well as I emerge myself into His glory by praising Him in my room with no worries of others watching me. Other days, I feel as if I'm disappointing my Father, as if I'm not worthy, therefore I don't put in the effort of growing that day. Those days, I tend to call my bad days. Before March, my bads days consisted of an explosion of everything going wrong at once, whereas now it is when I fear I am disappointing my Father. I don't want to disappoint Him. He does soo much for me, even when I least expect it, He is always there for me and always sees me through it all.When I stop and see that, thats when I start feeling remorse and unworthy. I know in His eyes I'm worthy...guess it goes back to me forgiving myself of my past. 

The young adults group I participate in from church has been reading in the book of Mark, Jesus' live. The more we dive into this book, the more I can relate to Jesus. He was from a small town and when He returned one day, they said He was just the carpenter. They couldn't see past what He had become. They only saw what they knew. They weren't open to new ideas. Being from a small town as well I can relate. In ten years time, even if I made a name for myself, my hometown would only see me as the girl they knew before. Not that I want fame or anything like that, and neither did Jesus, but they rejected Him. I too have been rejected. Jesus was also hated....we all have been hated at one time or another right? 

I know I'm going all around with my blog today, but just going with my thoughts....

I think my main struggle right now, is accepting that I am not perfect and that He does that and accepts that, but I have to accept it too. Life is a journey for a reason....I'm not just here for the ride, I'm here to grow and learn along the way.